![]() ![]() I think I called my husband to cry and I know that I had to relive everything as I typed up the mandatory incident report so that the powers that be would have everything that they needed. ![]() I remember walking out of the building and sitting in the sun, just staring at the sky for an unknown length of time. ![]() I know that a lovely coworker covered for me so I could leave my office. The rest of the day is a blur, as is most of the week. I managed to do everything that I needed to and could for the young lady before the walls seemingly crashed in. I forced myself to focus on her and help her in any and every way that I could while trying to forcibly shove the memories back into their little black box in the back of my mind. ![]() Now her story is not mine to tell so I will simply say that when she self-reported being the victim of a sexual assault I felt my mind and body freeze, as if all the oxygen had been sucked from the room. On this particular day a young lady walked into my office appearing distraught. I talk to them, help them to the best of my ability and I get to know them. That is when I became the Girl With the Butterfly Tattoo.Įach day I interact with a myriad of young adults. Sometimes, something will happen and they will rear their ugly negative energy and immobilize me for a moment, and sometimes even longer. I never know when something will bring the memories forward and there came a day when I was slapped in the face by an incident which caused me to become immobilized for much longer than the normal moment. There are other things that are horrible to remember and, although I haven’t been able to completely lock them away, I have been able to force them into a small box in the back of my mind so that they are not able to affect my everyday life. There are some things that I have had to force myself to forget for the sake of my own sanity. Why would I want to put myself through pain for no reward? Things change quickly, however, and I went from not ever wanting a tattoo to feeling like I needed one to be able to continue functioning in life in less than a week.įirst, let me state, that I have blocked many things that occurred in my past. My only requests of him were that he not become addicted and end up covered head to toe in tattoos and that he should not ever expect me to get a tattoo. I did not think that anything ever could or would make me want to get a tattoo. I admired the thought that he put into each, as each was tattoo was a process for him that required thinking about the specific meaning and inspiration of each tattoo and the image that would best represent that meaning. I supported his decision to get each tattoo. My husband had three tattoos before he joined my tattoo day to get his fourth. I did not begin admiring tattoos, the wonderful artistry and the means of expression they provide the person sporting them… well I did and do but that wasn’t the inspiration for my tattoo. So how is it possible that I am now the Girl With the Butterfly Tattoo? I, however, am a baby when it comes to pain and as such had sworn innumerable times that I would never get a tattoo. My husband is fond of saying that pain is his friend because when he feels pain he knows that he is still alive. ![]()
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